Life of the Party

Yesterday was Saturday. Typically my weekends are pretty low key. I stay at home, work on homework, read articles, grade papers, work on my monthly budget, watch Netflix, internet shop, cook for myself, and sleep. Lit right? (exciting, highly entertaining, lively environment) Well, that's how most weekends go for me.

Yesterday was different. Yesterday was a reminder. I was reminded that even though I am in fact an extremely responsible adult, student, employee, daughter, sister, and friend there is another adjective besides responsible that describes me...

FUN

As adult, I've gotten so used to working hard and being responsible. I started to forget that along with everything else that I know how to do, I know how to have fun too. It brings us back to that wonderful word we call BALANCE. As an adult I've had to learn how to have a lot more fun. Fun takes the edge off of what comes with being so responsible. Now let's be clear, responsibility is an amazing thing. Responsibility is what cultivates the process of maturation. I encourage and endorse responsible behavior. Along with my spiritual beliefs, responsibility is what keeps me out of trouble and has done so for years.

Yesterday was fun. I volunteered at an event for kids for a few hours that morning and then I attended a dinner party and ended on a crazy night of karaoke. The picture above captures a good idea of the fun, silly, and crazy time I had last night. I sang, twerked, laughed, let loose and allowed myself to have a great time. I deserved it, and so do you. Now having fun doesn't mean giving yourself permission to be reckless and ridiculous.

To me fun means that you can ease up and have a good time and STILL be responsible. For example, I've talked about my lack of a dating life in previous posts but last night I encouraged myself to get out there and socialize with some men and that was fun too. As I sat with my friends, the waitress told me that a man at the bar wanted to buy me a drink so I happily requested a pineapple juice on the rocks haha. I got invited to dinner AND I engaged in some fun conversation. This was good for me for many reasons. As a single woman being raised in the Christian faith in the African-American community, I was raised to be reserved when interacting with guys. I was taught about what behaviors NOT to engage in but I was never taught by the church, my family, or community on how to positively interact with guys and that left me feeling very confused when I was younger. I had to learn a lot of lessons the hard way based on improper social and role models. When I entered into graduate school to begin my masters program, I slowly began training myself on how to be a workaholic. When I started doing that, I stopped trying to be social with men and women. I'd been associating myself with the wrong people so many times in the past that I was really just over people in general and just wanted to be by myself even though I really wanted friends and companionship.

The thing about being a Christian single is that God has taught me a lot about boundaries so that I can have a good time. Now I didn't say the church taught me or my parents...I said GOD taught me and a lot of that teaching came from my mistakes. Yesterday showed me that despite some bad decisions that I've made over the years, God raised me to be an amazing woman. I know my worth, I know that I'm a a wife-in-waiting, I know that I'm an anointed and intelligent doctor, and I know that I was born with a purpose. I also know that these things don't have to limit me from enjoying my life and having fun.

What models are you looking at?

I learned about fun from the world's model:

Do what you feel

Go with the flow

You only live once (YOLO)

It's your body/It's your life

These are just a few of the "laws" of the world's model about fun. The reality is, following these laws can actually take the fun out of what you're doing and turn a situation into a confusing, hurtful, nightmare. I speak from experience. the Bible says:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

I live in this world, but I'm not of this world. I follow the model of Christ and he teaches me how to live, move, and be in my day-to-day life. Just because I live in this world doesn't mean I have to do everything the world does (by the way, I've already tried that). So many people (including some Christians) think that Christian living is boring because there are so many rules to govern yourself by. Bible principles for living aren't meant to ruin your fun rather to prevent you from ruining yourself by engaging in the wrong kinds of fun. Boundaries allow you to be protected while you have fun so that you can wake up with no regrets about ANYTHING that you chose to do the night before. The choices you make while having fun determine the quality and longevity of the fun you're having. There's nothing wrong with drinking, but how many drinks are you going to have while you're out? There's nothing wrong with staying out late, but how late are you planning on being out? There's nothing wrong with going out with different people, but what are these people really into? And should you be associating with them? See you have to start thinking about choices BEFORE you start having fun so that your boundaries will already be in place.

I want you to enjoy live to the fullest! Let's not get so serious about life that we deny ourselves time to relax and let go. Fun is what revives us and gives us the clarity and peace we need to return to our obligations and responsibilities. Just be mindful of what fun means to you. Be aware of the choices you make when you're out having fun. Don't kill your own vibe because you didn't take the time to think. The outcome of your entire fun experience depends on your thoughts and the decisions you make based on those thoughts.